Tag Archive | loss

The Island

I don’t wanna be here tomorrow;

Not looking for your warm advice.

If I asked you to leave without me,

Would I have to ask you twice?

The waves, they begin to swallow

The edges of our barren land,

The paths we were set to follow,

Our castle which used to stand

Against the burnt horizon,

So dark against a bruising sky;

But the bricks are now worn and broken,

As our island sinks beneath the tide.

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Sick.

Nights are never quiet

And it’s impossible not to hear

That persistent, rasping cough,

Which burns in the air.

I wish the noise could stop;

For only a little while.

It sounds raw with dried blood;

It sounds wet with bile.

Yet each fleeting silence

Fills me up with fear,

For the audial violence

Lets me know you’re still here.

And I really don’t know

What calms me more:

The life or the death

That exists beyond your door.

The wilderness (part4)

Closer to me

And closer still

Are the memories

Which warm and fill

Each icy desert

Of broken words

And untold hurt.

But I feel you –

Nearly –

In this lonely place;

Somewhere unknown,

I am trying to trace.

Yet paradise must exist

Beyond the rain,

Beyond the peaks

Or else this wilderness

Wouldn’t burn so cold

And break my bones

And keep me marching

On and on and on

Into that next step

Either toward

Or away from you.

Please, let this next step

Find you and find us.

Instead of kicking dust

Into clouds

Which confuse

And arouse

Before finally settling

Onto the cold, dead ground.

The wilderness (part3)

Where are you?

She said,

shadow-stepping

Past the dead.

And those mountains

Stand high

In the snow

At every side.

Impossible to traverse;

Dangerous to climb.

And that wind screams;

It howls, it cries.

And, at each summit,

There is nothing more

Than another wilderness

Left to explore.

Peaks apart,

Eyes lock from afar,

But valleys sink deep

Between who we are.

The wilderness (part 2)

Is it late enough

To wake you up?

Your endless sleep

Still worries me.

The rain-wet glass

Looks overcast;

Barely a morning

To greet you with.

The horizon opens out

And stretches wide

Into that dull and cold

unfinished sky.

Does anybody even know

What we’re searching for?

In this wilderness,

We are without rules.

And like aimless rain,

we wash the world

In one fleeting,

half-remembered fall.

The quiet.

Tired, wet eyes

Stain the pillow

By my side

And why do I

Insist to hide

Away from you?

As a habit

I sigh, so deep,

And stretch an arm

To where you weep

Because I’m too strewn

To give out more

For anyone at all.

And then you turn

And push away;

I don’t protest,

Just fall away;

I seem to give up

Quicker each day,

Left feeling bruised

from your pain;

I used to fight

For things to say;

But words die cold,

So far away

From how I feel.

The stomach-coldness

Will continue to swell,

Like everytime

That I meant well,

But couldn’t explain

In words, which fit us

– Good enough.

Inside

This old house moves

When you’re not here.

Things go missing;

Then re-appear.

Naughty little teapot

Stood by the backdoor,

You don’t belong here,

I’ve told you this before.

And I’ll dust you down

Mr Wardrobe and Mrs Chair;

And I’ll close all the curtains

In case someone’s standing there;

Outside of my window

A man wants to come in

But he doesn’t say hello

Because he isn’t a friend.

He watches me move

And knocks hard and loud

To which I’ll creep and tip-toe

To another part of the house.

A pile waits for me

Of words, dates and lists;

For the ghost who gets there first,

For the ghost who doesn’t exist.

This back room is a mess,

It’s been like this for years;

You have to push past boxes

For a pathway to appear.

And that knocking shakes the walls,

Shakes windows and the air;

And when that knocking stops,

It’s hard to prove anyone’s there.

Because everything’s dead

Now that you’re not here;

And, each time you leave,

The silence comes; I disappear.

Red lego shapes

Mornings bring with them

This numb, heavy weight

Which presses hard down

Against our cold, empty shapes.

And that very next day

Never seems to come

Because the evening before us

Is too dark to move on.

He or she let you down,

He or she was not the one;

He or she does not own you

Or anyone you want to become.

You were more than a person

Before they came into your life

And you are still that and more,

Only stronger, with more insight.

For a lover does not define you,

Not the reason you exist;

You belong to yourself and others,

You are someone else’s kiss.

You are the reason for another

To smile through the day;

You will inspire more than tears

When this darkness fades away,

You are the moment people wait for

And someone is waiting for you;

But you’ll never know this

Until your eyes focus to

Another world, another place

Another time to live in,

Where you move closer to those 

Who give your life meaning,

So brutalise the past,

But remember what it teaches;

Because it cannot hold you back

From another world you wish to reach.

Eyes up and mind up

And imagine a new start;

For these are the instructions

To rebuild a broken heart

Daylight savings

It’s an hour past midnight

And I already know

The morning will be heavy,

The weak wintery glow,

Which doesn’t feel like day

And doesn’t feel like night;

Just a sleepy sheet of grey

Keeping the sun out of sight.

And yes, tomorrow always hurts

When the day does not love you;

For the night never leaves

When the sun is all you look to.

Forget me

Please don’t forget me

Or let me fade

Into the stretching darkness 

Which hangs between days.

Because I am the man,

I am the demon;

The gasps of air

Which keep you breathing.

How dare you forget me,

Turn away and run

And leave me casting shapes

Against the setting sun.

Because I am that night,

That cold, wet evening;

The dead-dull eyes

Staring up at the ceiling.

For I will always stay

And continue to hide

In the empty bedspace

I left by your side.