Casting shadows upon the mind
There it is again. It always returns to me at night, just before I fall asleep. That dull screaming from the back of my mind. It is a pressing madness that keeps scratching, digging in deep and regurgitating the past. Everytime I close my eyes it is there, hiding, semi-submerged, in the shadows that have been cast upon my mind. That thing. The broken heap of youth spread out across the wet tarmac. The apparition of a broken pale face.
The road looked like snake skin that night. I was out driving so late that it was nearly early. It was 3.50am and the road had become swallowed by a thick woods either side. The wind spread screams across the sky and spat the rain sideways. As I drove onward, the trees on each side of the road reached outwards and clustered into an entangled roof which blocked out the moonlight. The darkness grew around my car, the rain eased and the wind died into a suffocating silence. Even the car engine seemed smothered into muffled sounds. The silence was deafening. The silence had amplified the sound of my breathe. A dull wheeze. It seemed unfamiliar, as if someone else was breathing through me. The breathe of a person not yet there.
I switched the radio on and it shouted half-words through the crackling reception. I began to fiddle with the tuning dials until I heard the comfort of someone else’s voice. I smiled. I am not alone. My eyes flicked upwards just as something pale flashed across the road. The wheels screamed and the brakes glowed red trying to stop. The tyres slipped and the rear end of the car spun out slightly. I wrenched violently at the steering wheel just as two dark eyes flashed before my car. There was a deep crunch. The car jolted as something was knocked to the ground. It looked like a person.
The headlights focused on the frozen face and turned a knot of limbs into a work of art. There was a moment when my eyes fell upon the uncanny curves of the smile that split her face – that dead smile branded itself onto my brain. Had I just killed someone? Was I a murderer?
As I exited the car, the corpse seemed to spider out of view. It moved in a sporadic jolting fashion, bones cracking with each movement. It simply scarpered away towards the trees. As the pale face sunk into the darkness, its eyes fixed upon me. I chased it briefly into the forest. It had gone. I stood in the forest for a few moments trying to train my eyes to see through the darkness. Trying to see what had died and reanimated infront of me. I felt eyes all over my skin. Something was waiting in the darkness. It wanted me to pursue it.
Was I a murderer? No, what I saw was not human. It was something completely unreal. A mouth warped with insanity and a pair of large dark eyes. No facial expressions, only stillness.
I returned to the car and turned off the engine. The headlight dimmed and a world of darkness washed into the areas the light had accommodated. I step away from my car to see a dark road open up infront of me. My feet moved like a memory as the silence began to scream at me from the trees. The cold and pale face, stared from the depths of my past. I walked onward towards the unburied memory, in pursuit of dark discovery.